Friday, November 30, 2012

Today in Dutch soccer news, we learn about wildpoepers

From De Telegraaf:

Emmen - 
FC Emmen en aanvaller Jeffrey de Visscher maakten donderdag bekend in goed overleg uit elkaar te gaan. Maar er is meer aan de hand. De Visscher blijkt de dronken wildpoeper te zijn die twee weken geleden in Emmen zijn rijbewijs moest inleveren en op de bon werd geslingerd.

To the translators!

Emmen -
FC Emmen and striker Jeffrey de Visscher were announced Thursday in consultation part ways. But there is more to it. De Visscher shows the drunken wildpoeper to two weeks ago in Emmen his license had to hand and on the receipt was thrown.

There's a lot of noise there, and I don't really understand the syntax, but I did notice two items regarding the word "wildpoeper": one, it wasn't translatable, and two, that word is fantastic and I will be using it if I can ever figure out what it means.  Luckily, someone over at "Who Ate All The Pies" (motto: The Tasty Football Magazine) has already looked into this.  

Dutch second division side FC Emmen have terminated the contract of a player after he was arrested for being a ‘wildpoeper’ in the Hollandish vernacular – which is, we’re afraid to say, exactly what it sounds like.

Oh man oh man oh man I was so hoping it would be what it sounds like do go on tell me go go go

Police apparently found Emmen striker Jeffrey de Visscher (who was briefly on Aberdeen’s books a few years ago) alone, heavily inebriated and squatting at the side of his car at the side of a road through a forest in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, this is only the second most embarrassing arrest of a professional athlete this week, thanks to Riley Sheahan, who was pulled over in Grand Rapids with a BAC of nearly .30, which legally qualifies him as "super-drunk" in Michigan (seriously, they have a law called the "Super Drunk Law").  Also, he is 20 years old, and was carrying the license of a 23-year-old teammate.  Also, he was wearing a Teletubby costume at the time (specifically, Tinky Winky):

Does anyone else wish he had kept the head part of the costume on?
Entertaining as Mr. Sheahan's arrest is, let's try and remember why we're here: to discuss "wildpoepers".  Back to our friends at Who Ate All The Pies:

At the time De Visscher, 31, claimed a friend was driving his car and had walked off after pulling over to give him some privacy while he ‘wildpooped’ – though De Visscher was unsure who the man was or where he had gone.

"Yes, officer.  My friend was driving, but I told him I needed to go shit in the woods, so he pulled over and then deserted the vehicle.  Also, he isn't my friend and I don't know who he is."

De Visscher, demonstrating his wildpoeper face.

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