Thursday, November 29, 2012

Mark Sanchez finally speaks out about butt fumble, gives most depressing interview ever

Mark Sanchez has finally agreed to speak about his hilarious fumble of last week; if you somehow missed it the first 147 times it was on SportsCenter, here it is again:

I say this a lot, but this gif will never get old. 
 Anyway, let's see what Handsome Mark has to say about his blunder:

It's embarrassing, you screw up the play and I'm trying to do the right thing. It's not like I'm trying to force something. I start to slide and I slide in the worst spot I possibly could -- right into (right guard) Brandon Moore.

It definitely is embarrassing.  I do agree with Mark that it's necessary to reassure everyone that he was trying to do the right thing, because from the outside it looks like he was trying to run into a lineman's ass.

I guess (I was) more stunned than anything. It was just like a car accident. I was like, 'Whoa, what just happened? The ball is gone.' It was weird, man. That sucked.

It was just like a car crash, if car crashes were hilarious and happened to the quarterbacks of terrible sports teams.  I like how Sanchize appends "that sucked" to his response, because it's what the QB of a middle school flag football team might say about a bad play.

It'll probably be on a blooper reel for a while.

Yeah, that one's gonna stick around.

It easily made SportsCenter's not top 10:

And a helpful Youtuber has even set it to Benny Hill:

So, yeah, not only will this one not go away--it might even end up being the defining moment of his career.  Of course, I couldn't be happier about that.  Sanchez's interviewer throws in this line, regarding Marky Mark:

This has been the most challenging season of his career, and it hit the lowpoint with last week's embarrassing loss, which dropped the Jets to 4-7.

Whoa there, let's not assume this is the low point!  If I've learned anything about Mark, it's that he can always get worse.  This, however, is great writing:

Turns out Sanchez was indirectly responsible for the retirement of longtime Jets super-fan Ed Anzalone, who announced he no longer will attend games as Fireman Ed because he was constantly harassed by other fans for wearing a Sanchez jersey to games this season.

Mark Sanchez is so bad that he's forcing fans who want to wear his jersey to stay at home, for fear of being harassed by other fans.  (Side note: giving publicity to super-fans is really the worst, and I wish everyone would stop.  Fireman Ed is a jackass.)

Not sure what I like more: the guy on the right wearing the wrong sport's hat, or the rest of the crowd that clearly does not give a shit about the game at all.
Sanchez, does it disappoint you that your most die-hard fans will stop attending games?

"Obviously, if his safety is in jeopardy, maybe it's a good move," said Sanchez, adding that he appreciated Fireman Ed's support.

God, that's sad.  "Jets fans, go home, it's not safe at our games."

"I don't know how to explain it," Sanchez said. "It was a wild one. & Hopefully, we'll laugh about it later."

Sanchez then retreated to his bedroom and slammed the door before bursting into tears.

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