Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Meanwhile, in Brazil

The New York Times reports, in a very serious tone, that in Brazil there are resorts specifically designed for having sex, which is a very serious topic that demands very serious coverage.

The establishment that opened here this year has features that demanding clients naturally expect from a love motel.  Heart-shaped ceiling mirror: check. Curtains drawn against the bright day: check. Red mattress: check.

Is there some sort of Zagat for love motels?  How do demanding clients look these things up?  I need to know because of...pure intellectual curiousity, or something.

To open the motel, the siblings leased a former children’s hospital in Gutierrez, a leafy area of Belo Horizonte.

I hope they put up some very clear signs so that people stopped bringing their injured children there.

“Mel gets agitated with so much stimulation, and needs to relax a bit,” Ms. Carvalho said. “Come to think of it, I need some peace and quiet as well.” 

This would be a little bit weird, except that I neglected to mention that Mel, like all other clients of this motel, is not a human.  He is a dog.  Therefore, it's actually a lot weird.  This is a motel for this guy

to meet up with this lady

so that they can do dog things to each other.  Oh, and it's not just dogs:

parts of the establishment cater to owners of cats, fish and rodents like the Mongolian gerbil

Fantastic.  I had to look up what a Mongolian gerbil is, and it is this:

Oh yeah, just like that
In all seriousness, I have absolutely no conception of how this whole thing would go down.  Do owners set up dates in advance?  Do you just kinda show up with your dog and wait for someone else with a dog to come over and say "hey, shall we have em go fuck somewhere?"  Do dogs, let alone Mongolian gerbils or fucking fish, need things like heart-shaped mirrors and red mattresses to get in the mood?  This article has answered none of my pressing questions about why there is a need for this establishment. 

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