Thursday, November 15, 2012

John Schnatter and Mitt Romney really get America

Rather than quietly raise the price of his goods like every merchant since forever has done, Papa John Schnatter has decided to publicly declare that because of Obamacare, his pizzas will now cost between 11 and 14 cents more apiece.

Fourteen cents?  How will I afford pizza and clothes?  Fine, I'll forgo pants.
Perhaps more significantly, he's also going to cut part-time employee hours to avoid having to insure them under the new law.  It's confusing why all of this is necessary, because according to Forbes a price raise of about 4 cents a pizza would cover the entire $5-8 million that the Papa says he'll be losing, without needing to cut hours.  The other reason that this is a little odd:

As someone who has eaten Papa John's pizza, I can confirm that the toilet-seat shaped driveway is appropriate.
That would be Padre John's place of residence, covering 40,000 square feet with a golf course, pool, lake, 22-car underground garage, and what I can only speculate is an underground network of tunnels like that wizard bank in Harry Potter, because why the fuck not.  I have trouble telling whether a particular really huge mansion is impressive compared to other really huge mansions, so it was fortunate that Mitt "some of my best friends own NFL franchises" Romney weighed in to tell us how great Johnny Boy's place really is:

Who would’ve imagined pizza could build this? This is really something. Don’t you love this country? What a home this is, what grounds these are, the pool, the golf course...This is a real tribute to America, to entrepreneurship.

America!  What, do some of you people not even have lakes on your property?
Anyway, I get that there are all kinds of considerations that go into a decision like this, and I know absolutely zero about running a giant pizza company, so maybe other people should be consulted and all that.

"We'll have every pizza, every day, cost $9.99.  No, this isn't related to Obamacare, it's just a good idea."
What I don't get is why make this so public, other than to show everyone that you can throw the biggest hissy fit about Obama's re-election?  Papa John's is now being threatened by boycotts and some very angry young people on Facebook.  Papa John's stock has dropped in value by 4.2% over the past few days, so if these actions were taken in the name of helping Papa John's shareholders, they aren't really working.  All that this is accomplishing is pissing off a lot of people and making Papa and the brand look bad, just so he can publicly air out his political disagreements.  There's no way that ends well for them-

I never thought "supporting gay rights" and "liking chicken" would be diametrically opposed political views
Ah.  Yeah.  Maybe the Papa is just a secret genius.

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