That seems like a very legitimate worry, yes

Source: Azfamily.com

I mean, once you've hit a cop with a thrown wine bottle, might as well keep going

Should we allow civilians to drive cop cars? Sure, what could go wrong?

Source: wheels.ca

Rob Ford caught smoking crack on tape, his lawyer takes "deny everything" strategy to the next level

The headline about covers it on this one.  Someone taped Toronto mayor Rob Ford smoking crack and is now selling it to the highest bidder (for some reason, there is a crowdfunded group attempting to buy it--actually, scratch that, there are at least five crowdfunded groups trying to buy it.  Getting pretty tired of your shit, Indiegogo).  At this point a number of journalists have seen and publicized the video, though the video itself remains unreleased.  Rob Ford's lawyer responded to the allegations, wondering, "How can you indicate what the person is actually doing or smoking?"  Apparently not recognizing the inanity of this line of thinking, he went on to ask, "Truly, what is reality?  Does each of us not create our understanding of the world around us on a moment-to-moment basis, crafting a tapestry of perception that is unique to our own experience?"

Now, I have no clear evidence either way.  I just want to ask one question: does the gif below depict the actions of a man who is not on crack?  I rest my case.

If your desire for bizarre Rob Ford moments continues unabated, you may view a full list here.

Headlines, are difficult to write, but as long as you get all the information in there you're usually okay, commas are hard to use but I think I am improving because I used three here and that seems like an appropriate number

Source: philly.com

Meanwhile in Australia, I have no idea what this headline says

Source: The Courier

Step 1: Put on mask

That's a lot of information for just one headline

I put on my robe and wizard hat

Source: Seattle PD

Today in misleading headlines: snakes now committing arson

See:

Anyway, as you might have already guessed, the snake did not just decide "oh hey let me set this house on fire because fuck you I'm a snake".  In fact, the article begins with a statement from the authorities which calls the snake's guilt into question:

BOWIE COUNTY, TX (KSLA) -
Authorities believe a homeowner's response to finding a snake in her yard may have led to the fire that destroyed her house Wednesday.

Ah, so she saw a snake in her yard, which presumably had on its person (on its snake?) gas cans, matches, and other arson equipment, yes?

"While cleaning up, she saw snake,

1: See snake.  Snake is just a snake and is at present not particularly dangerous.

threw gasoline on the snake,

2: Oh god damn it what are you doing no no no

lit the snake on fire," said Deputy Randall Baggett with the Bowie County Sheriff's Office.

3: Of fucking course this is going to go badly for you.  "Oh no, a snake!  Let me set it on fire, so that it becomes a fire-snake, or basically a goddamn dragon.  That'll be way less dangerous."

4: Profit?

"The snake went into the brush pile and the brush pile caught the home on fire."

Despite the efforts of several fire departments that responded to the scene, the flames completely engulfed the home. It is a complete loss. A neighboring home was also damaged on one side.

Please, do not set snakes on fire.

If you hit a deer, make sure it's actually dead before you put it in the trunk, mmkay?

I strongly advise you to skip to 0:45 or so, because local news is boring.

Well what did you want him to do, put down the tortilla?

Source: koco.com

Chinese criminal mastermind would fit right in in Florida

Source: Shortlist

DC vending machine found to be defective in best possible way

Source: DCist

High speed chase through the streets of Bristol. Difficulty level: moped

The best part is at 2:05 where a pedestrian attempts to punch him off his bike.

That's a point for Virginia, but Florida is still way ahead

In the competition for head-shakingly bizarre occurrences, that is.  Today, we visit Craigslist of Norfolk, VA after which I invite all of you to join me in reaching for the nearest stuffed animal and shuddering uncontrollably.

Is there some sort of award for having the most unique Craigslist request?  Because you win, forever.