Sometimes there are products that I want despite having no real need for them

In Canada, even the horses are too polite to tell you when you're bothering them

Is there a video?  OF COURSE there's a video.  You're welcome.

 


Source: Sun News

But what if I want my lips to look like human lips

I don't often stop and notice Internet ads.  I'd say I'm pretty well inoculated to the shock images that advertisers use to try and draw clicks; after all, once you've seen a crazed zombie woman with extremely bright blue eyes offering you a free credit score, there's not much that will surprise you.  That said, what in God's name is this bullshit?

Are they molding?  Is that person just really bad at using cocaine correctly?  I can't disagree with the claim that the "definition and outline" are pretty good (and that is a fantastic philtrum), but "healthy appearance" is a stretch. 

Just look at all these remarkable women we celebrate

Source: Herald News

Bonobos now selling stripper clothes that you can wear as regular clothes

I just spotted this on my Facebook feed:

Yes, Bonobos now has stripper pants.  Observe:

And one more for good measure:

And in case you were wondering about the detailing ("Tournament brackets on inside pockets for keeping track of your picks."): that is in fact a real thing.

Touche, Audi

This is easily the best new car feature to appear in years. 

Legal?  Doubtful.  Awesome?  Most definitely.

Mitch McConnell's latest campaign ad: actually kind of clever

Super Bowl commercial interlude

I hate to give advertisers more attention, but this was easily the best commercial I've seen in a while.

Nowhere is American ingenuity more apparent than in our local automobile advertising

At no point does Cal have much to say about cars, but dude is strapping himself to the top of planes because that's how much he wants to sell you a car.  Also, the banjos in this are fierce.

OK, there's a decent chance this isn't real, but I don't care.

This one has about a .001% chance of being real.  We can dream, though.

h/t Jesse for informing me of the existence of the "Fuck You Baltimore" video

I found this to be a more effective approach than using Sarah McLachlan songs

And another great advertising video which is thoroughly unrelated to anything except that it made me happy on a Wednesday:

Now, time for lunch!  I wish there were fireworks and exuberant friends hugging me to celebrate, but I suppose in the absence of such things the flask of whiskey I brought for dessert will have to do.

Single & Christian?

Have you considered dating an animatronic humanoid avatar?  If so, there is a dating service just for you.

Is God sure about this one?  I'm not trying to question the process, but she's not much of a conversationalist.

h/t to nick for sending this to me mmkay

University of California unveils new logo, everyone points and laughs

The University of California has had the same logo for 102 years now, so somebody decided it was time for a change.  There's nothing in particular wrong with the old logo--it's just kinda old, and higher-ups felt like it wasn't well suited for online use.

There appears to be a rudimentary Kindle there in the middle.  How quaint.

So they went off and consulted some graphic designers, who came up with this:

No, that's not a loading screen--that's actually the logo.

Understandably, some people were confused why UC suddenly felt like they'd be best represented by a Vista loading icon on a kickboard.  Words like "derision", "blunder", "mockery", and "backlash" were thrown around by critics (really, those are all words that now appear on the first page of Google results for "UC logo").

The Internet hasn't been this riled up since, well, probably some other time this morning when a thing happened.

 The new logo was also an easy target for Photoshop artisans, who quickly pointed out the unfortunate resemblance to a loading icon. 

I guess they just figured that anything related to computers would communicate how cool and futuristic they were.  Nothing says "the future" like the thing you look at when you wait for your goddamn computer to work fucking properly.

UC isn't the first organization to pick a technology-themed logo which didn't really send the message they were hoping for--in fact, it's more common than you might think, even among tech companies.

Is that man trapped in the hourglass?  Who thought this would be good as a logo?  Were they drunk?

Other dedicated Photoshoppers made other mockups, which: just because two things are both related to the University of California does not mean they are funny when you put them together.

Ha Ha!  The cop's pepper spraying a bad logo, get it?  Me neither.

Anyway, following the furor over the new logo, UC refused to back down--the logo was implemented on their site and they seemed to think that the criticism would die down, which is reasonable for anyone who's ever seen the Internet get fired up about something for approximately three hours before something else happens and everyone forgets about it.  However, the criticism here seems to be sustainable--public figures up to and including the Lt. Governor of California have stated their opposition.  It's unclear what the university will do--presently, the logo appears to have been largely removed from the site.  In fact, it appears nowhere on the main page at present, and if you go to Berkley's page, you'll see it just once: it appears as part of a news story about the outrage over the new logo.  This has been your internet controversy of the day.

Nothing says "proud of our new logo" like burying it in the bottom left corner of your site.

Jón Gnarr is pretty good at mayoring

Jon Gnarr is the current mayor of Reykjavik, Iceland.  He's had a somewhat unlikely ascension into politics--as a child, he was diagnosed with mental retardation and ADHD, he attended a number of high schools but never passed the university entrance exam, and he worked for a time as a taxi driver while playing in the punk band Nefrennsli (translation: Runny Nose) for which he briefly changed his name to Jonsi Punk.  He had the opportunity to play with Björk Guðmundsdóttir and Einar Örn Benediktsson, which leads me to believe that Nordic languages make every name sound awesome.  He had a pretty successful movie and TV acting career by Icelandic standards, starring in such projects as Fóstbræður,  Ég var einu sinni nörd, Næturvaktin, Dagvaktin, Fangavaktin, and Bjarnfreðarson.  I feel pretty confident that every movie title would sound better in Icelandic after seeing these.  I did a little background research into Dagvaktin, which I initially assumed was a post-apocalyptic survival thriller based on this image:

How is it that "Dagvaktin" sounds so apocalyptic and exciting, but the translated version ("Day Shift") sounds so terribly boring?

After a little further searching, I determined that my assumption was likely incorrect, as this is the cover of the movie:

Post-apocalyptic farmers with just a pinch of comic relief, maybe?

Gnarr's entry to the political sphere has been unusual, to say the least.  In 2009, he founded the Best Party, or Besti flokkurinn, which was at the time intended to be a satirical party mocking the failed policies of the established Icelandic politicians.  Among their stated goals were a mix of jokes and semi-serious ideas, including the following:

• Stop corruption: We promise to stop secret corruption. We'll accomplish this by participating in it openly.
• To improve the quality of life of the Less Fortunate: We want the best of everything for this bunch and therefore offer free access to buses and swimming pools so you can travel around Reykjavik and be clean even if you're poor or there's something wrong with you.
• The Best Party pledges that it will not honour any promises given before elections.
• Free access to swimming pools for everyone and free towels: This is something that everyone should fall for, and it's the election promise we're most proud of.
• Listen more to women and old people: This bunch gets listened to far too little. It's as if everyone thinks they are just complaining or something.
• A polar bear for the city zoo.

Their campaign also featured this video, which is arguably the best political campaign video in existence:

 
In 2010, the party was shockingly successful despite its less-than-serious approach to some issues, winning a plurality of seats on the Reykjavik City Council, which enabled Gnarr to become mayor of the city.  One of his first announcements following the election was that he would not enter a political coalition with any politicians who had not seen The Wire.  He also attempted to allay the fears of people who felt that his party was not serious, saying, "No one has to be afraid of the Best Party because it is the best party. If it wasn’t, it would be called the ‘Worst Party’ or the ‘Bad Party’. We would never work with a party like that."  Which: that seems quite logical.

How do we know it's the best party, really?  This suit would be Exhibit A.

Since entering office, Gnarr has proceeded to appear in drag for gay pride parades, including one notable occasion where he led a float calling for the release of Pussy Riot:

Even in the cases of Cory Booker and San Francisco, American mayors are nowhere near this cool.

He has a great Facebook feed, where he publishes any number of things that would lose an American politician their job pretty quickly, as well as occasional random posts about what Iceland looks like upside down:

By Jove, he's right!

Oh, and this was his Christmas card last year:

I know it's not relevant to his political career, but I'm a sucker for Star Wars references.

Long story short, I can't help but think the world would be a better place if there was more room for figures like Gnarr in politics.  Given that he's an avowed anarchist, it probably wouldn't be great if too many politicians were like him, but it's always cool to see someone bringing a new voice to the table, especially in cases like this where he genuinely seems to just care about people.  Too often, even the most idealistic, outspoken politicians don't or can't stick too closely to their beliefs for the sake of political expediency--it's fun to see a guy who just doesn't seem to care what makes sense politically at all, preferring to say what he believes without too much regard for the consequences.

If you don't want to watch a man demonstrating a useful new product by shooting a fly off a blow-up doll with a salt-pellet gun, this isn't the video for you

 

The website for this product is also quite fantastic.