In the race to be the most literate and popular person on Twitter, Obama barely edges out Katy Perry

Per this Buzzfeed story, Obama, Katy Perry, and Lady Gaga have Twitter accounts which read at the highest grade level of the top ten most followed accounts on Twitter.  All came in at around a 6th grade level, which: I have no idea what it means to tweet at a 6th grade level.  Is that good?  It's tough to demonstrate literacy in 140 characters.  To the surprise of no one, Justin Bieber was last, not quite reaching the literacy level of your garden-variety first grader. 

Tough luck, Beebz!  Stay in school now.

Texas Congressman says most Texas Congressman-y thing possible

Donald Trump attempts to eloquently attack Mark Cuban on Twitter, fails

This is a moderately fair point, in that Mark Cuban does occasionally comport himself with the dignity of a particularly mature toddler.  Unfortunately for The Donald, he didn't stop at just one:

I believe only the last sentence there is Donald's, but he's terrible at tweeting so there's no way to be sure whether this is a coherent response or the insane ramblings it at first appears to be.  Still, this is (at best, with all the benefit of the doubt I can muster) a solid insult for a 3rd grader. 

Next, Trump goes to yet greater heights of sophomoric jabs:

Ha!  Swings like a girl.  That's real fresh.  How about you, Donald--what's your swing like?

HAR HAR HE'S A LOOOOOOOSEEEEEER RESPECT MY CHAMPEENSHIPS

At this point, Trump began receiving displeased correspondences from some of Cuban's fans, which he responded to in classic Internet fashion:

Perhaps sensing that this new tactic of threatening to visit the homes of all Cuban fans was backfiring, Trump then returned to his earlier discussion of golf skills.  To my knowledge, Trump is actually quite good at golf, so of the available options, this was the second best one after "don't start juvenile insult wars on twitter ever, like seriously, what the fuck are you thinking, that's dumb as hell".

Having suitably chastened Mr. Cuban, Trump decided it was time to fluff his own ego a bit while delivering the killing blow.  FINISH HIM!

 Dopey!  Whoo-ee, that is some hard-hitting stuff right there.  Cuban's response to all this was reasonable, and I'd deem it the second-best option after, again, "don't start juvenile insult wars on twitter ever, like seriously, what the fuck are you thinking, that's dumb as hell".

It's time for science with Jose Canseco

Yesterday, Jose Canseco tweeted the following:

This of course led to great excitement among those of us who wonder what the concept of Science looks like in Jose Canseco's head (just me? yeah, probably just me).  Luckily for us, he did in fact follow through on his promise, and it is fantastic.  Observe:

This is actually something that scientists do debate, since the total mass of the Earth does change a bit over time, thus affecting its gravitational force.  Jose, however, has other reasons for believing this:

Probably something to do with evolution?  You're the expert, Jose, you tell me.

After sharing this intriguing theory about gravity, Jose went on to discuss the planetary physics that caused this gravitational change:

Basically, the Triassic was the Earth's steroid era.

It's thought-provoking, that's for sure.  This concludes today's edition of Thoughts about Gravity, featuring Jose Canseco.

A Twitter feed for Monday: Florida Man is the superhero Florida deserves

It's not uncommon to see "Florida Man" in headlines, because men in Florida are terrible at not doing insanely dumb things.  Now, the _FloridaMan twitter feed compiles the best examples of these into a single fatally flawed superhero.  Maybe there's a little Florida Man in all of us.