Alex Jones thinks the government has access to the SimCity disaster menu

Source: MediaMatters

Good: There are fewer fire ants in the US now! Bad: Replaced by "Crazy Ants"

Source: University of Texas

New item for your list of things to watch out for when visiting Russia: sometimes parking lots explode and shower asphalt on you

As always, nearby Russians react by calmly noting "oh, there is a thing happening there" and not changing their behavior in any way to account for the fact that the ground is exploding.

Once again, thanks to Nick for the link

Ukrainian military dolphins have left their posts for sex reasons

Per RiaNovosti:

SEVASTOPOL, March 12 (RIA Novosti) - Three of the Ukrainian navy's “killer” dolphins that swam away from their handlers during training exercises probably left to look for mates, an expert said on Tuesday.

Great, there's nothing that can go wrong when sex-crazed dolphins with military training are on the loose.  On the plus side, maybe they don't exist:

Ukraine’s Defense Ministry denied the reports, while refusing to confirm the navy makes use of dolphins, despite the frequent appearance in Ukrainian media of photographs of dolphins with military equipment strapped to them.

I don't mean to say that those photos are definitive proof, but...

Photo credit: Gizmodo

they're kind of definitive proof.  Any final words that might further terrify people who are envisioning a wild team of horny warrior-dolphins cruising around the Black Sea?

A military source in Sevastopol told RIA Novosti last year that the Ukrainian navy had restarted training dolphins to attack enemy combat swimmers and detect mines. The killer-dolphins would be trained to attack enemy combat swimmers using special knives or pistols fixed to their heads, the source said.

Great, thanks.

Photo credit: Heavy

Let's just hope they stick to ping-pong

I was unaware we had made such progress on making intelligent flying robots, but these quadrocopters are pretty awesome.  My personal favorite part is that when they make a mistake, they shake with what I can only assume is disappointment in their own robot inadequacy. 

Winter storms are a pain but at least there are not spiders falling on you right now

At least, I assume there are no spiders falling on you right now.  If there are, it is either a terrible stroke of bad luck or you live in Santo Antonio de Platina, where it is apparently raining spiders.  Sleep well tonight!

Um, no.

Time to go home Toronto Star, you are drunk

One! Ten! 1 10 11 100!

On the minus side, you'd think robots that can play rock music are probably not that different than the robots that will inevitably seize military control of the world.  On the plus side, if they keep going in this direction, they'll all develop drug problems and become burnouts before they make anything of themselves.

Dinosaurs are basically back and we're all done for

This thing flies, swims, has standard claws and claws on its wings, and will likely end humanity eventually if Jurassic Park has taught me anything.  The only thing that could be worse is scorpions with jetpacks.

h/t jack for scaring the shit out of me with this