Things you should not do, if you are a cop

Source: WPXI

My high score is 1:21

How long can you watch this video for?  It will likely make you hate all people and all music and most likely cause you to break the sound output device on your computer; you've been warned.  I took off my headphones and tabbed away from it at 1:21, and was shocked two minutes later when I put my headphones back on and it was still going.  The takeaway lesson here is that there is no parody video so terrible that someone can't watch it and think "Yep, that one's ready to go on the Internet". 

Today in science: how to dance better, if you are a computer avatar

Scientists in England have studied dance moves, attempting to determine "the dance moves that will capture a woman's heart".  As a person who is terrible at dancing, this should be of great value to me personally.  So, what's the key?

Apparently the speed of a man's right knee and the size and variety of movements of the neck and torso are key

Sucks for all you left-kneed assholes.

Throughout the animal kingdom examples abound of males performing courtship dances, attracting females with displays of health and skill. Dances are sexy among humans as well

Health and skill?  So I should probably stop doing the Bernie all the time, then.

The men in the study wore 38 small reflectors all over their body, which the systems monitored to capture the motions of the dancers in three dimensions — the same technique filmmakers used to help create the character of Gollum in the "Lord of the Rings" movies. These movements were mapped onto featureless, white, gender-neutral humanoid characters, or avatars.

Chicks dig gender-neutral humanoid avatars

 He added: "We now know which area of the body females are looking at when they are making a judgment about male dance attractiveness.

Heyoooooooo!  Oh, wait, they're talking about the right knee.

faster bending and twisting movements of the right knee also seemed to catch the eyes of women

Got it, sorry.  Won't happen again.

"The hardest thing is to recruit males to take part," Neave told LiveScience. "They seem rather reluctant to sign up for studies that involve dancing." 

Males who were not typically dancers were hesitant to have electrodes taped to them while they dance in front of scientists so they could be turned into featureless, mannequin-like avatars which would be judged on their ability to attract women?  Shocker.  Anyway, here's the videos of the "good" and "bad" dancing avatars.

Good:

So...jog in place + wax on, wax off?  Got it.

Bad:

Go home avatar, you are drunk 

Science!